Wild in the Wilderness: Reese Witherspoon gets serious

398px-Reese_Witherspoon_2009Reese Witherspoon (the actress who starred in cinema classics Legally Blonde and Sweet Home Alabama) is starring in Wild, a biographical drama about the destructive young adult life of Cheryl Strayed (oh the irony of her last name). The movie is based on Strayed’s successful memoir Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail, a book about a young woman’s journey of personal discovery in the wake of tragedy and reckless decisions including drug use and sexual promiscuity. This book and movie caught my attention because I’m interested in topics of sin and immoral behavior. Fortunately I aspire to remain non-judgmental about many issues of immorality (especially my own).

Yet whenever I hear about the type of rough story in Wild, I wonder if there was a special person in the life of the protagonist; you know, someone the protagonist cared for, someone who attempted to dissuade the protagonist from harmful behavior. Was there a parent, sibling, spouse, BFF, pastor, or priest who spoke up in an effort to get the reckless person to change direction? Did they go too far, or not far enough in their efforts? I’m intrigued about Strayed’s story, so I guess I’ll have to read the book . . . though I hear it contains some raunchy elements (which are either verboten or deliciously enticing, depending on your denominational affiliation).

Here’s where I’m going with this: What should we do when someone dear to us makes life decisions that conflict with God’s plan and loving boundaries for the way people ought to live? For example, what should parents do if their young adult son or daughter embarks on a series of casual sexual relationships outside of marriage? I suspect most parents would gravitate toward confronting their son or daughter’s harmful behavior in a firm but loving manner. If the errant son or daughter refuses to listen, what should a parent do next? Should they follow the steps described in Matthew 18 and confront their child with a witness? Should they take the problem before their church? If the son or daughter still won’t change their reckless behavior, should they cast them out of their family and the church to be ignored by all? Frankly, we don’t follow these Biblical steps very often these days. They seem … harsh and invasive to our modern sensibilities.

That said, it is important to understand there’s a difference between canceling the church membership of an unrepentant person engaging in serious sin (there would be no church members if we cancelled membership for ALL sins), and cutting the person off from ALL relationships. Some of the serious sins mentioned in the Bible that relate to this topic include: Idleness, busybodies (gossips), sexual immorality not even tolerated by pagans (I don’t wanna know what that looks like), denying the resurrection of Christ, stirring up division, and blasphemers. I suppose a fundamentalist theological scholar could make a Biblical argument for casting out an unrepentant person engaging egregious sins. Granted, there are situations where we must set a strict boundary and end a relationship for the sake of our own health and safety or the health and safety of others. On the other hand, when someone we love commits serious sin, one human reaction we might have is to hound the person we love about their sin. Our intentions might be laudable, but I don’t recall any Scriptures permitting us to hound someone about their sin. There might be some situations where hounding would work, but not many. The Prodigal didn’t hound his son. And I don’t recall Jesus hounding very many people about their sin, though he certainly hounded the Pharisees. It is important for us to understand that hounding a person about their sin can backfire. It is not uncommon for someone who has sinned to turn on anyone who hounds them about their immoral behavior. They eventually begin to twist the truth of their bad behavior and make the hounder out to be the bad guy. The scary thing is that they often come to believe their own perversions of the truth. At that point, only God can fix them. By the way, hounding a person is not the same as holding them legitimately accountable, but that’s a topic for another day.

Perhaps we overly focus on God doing some dramatic turnaround work on someone we love (and we often want God to do it in a hurry) when in reality God is also doing turnaround work in OUR life through the bad decisions of the person we love. Wrap your noodle around that! Maybe God is trying to reveal something about the nature of our relationship with the unrepentant loved one in our life. Maybe He is trying to show us that we are trying to be the perfect Christian via our own strength. Maybe He wants to show us some hypocrisy or pride that has crept into our own life. Maybe he wants to show us that we have crossed the line and are trying too hard to live by the law and have neglected God’s grace. Maybe he wants to show us that we do not know enough of the details and nuances of our loved one’s situation to form an accurate or appropriate judgment.

Maybe the best approach is for us to speak our piece about the sin and let the unrepentant person walk whatever path they choose . . . and continue to love them while God works. 1 Peter 4:8 says “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” I don’t think this verse is referring only to situations where people sin against us or wrong us. I’m just saying!

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Posted on November 21, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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