Should you mistrust people?

MH900448629 Yes, if you want to end up like Howard Hughes (without the money). People who lose the ability to trust can find themselves, later in life, living in a darkened studio apartment, chain-smoking, watching television 24/7, and nursing a bottle of vodka. OK maybe that’s an exaggeration. Or is it?

Of course a healthy dose of mistrust is necessary for protection. Spiritual discernment, and our gut-feeling, can often warn us about untrustworthy people. Unfortunately there is not a 100 percent effective formula we can follow to protect us from untrustworthy people. If an employer betrays you, or a partner stabs you in the back in a business venture, or a spouse cheats, it can trigger a lifelong negative effect on your interaction with others. If we overreact with mistrust we can end up harming our significant relationships by directing mistrust towards people who do not deserve it. The following is an excellent article on the symptoms and consequences of excessive mistrust: http://www.goodtherapy.org/therapy-for-trust-issues.html

When we openly direct our mistrust without evidence at innocent people we are, in a way, bearing false witness. (See Exodus 20:16 . . . and yes, it is one of the big Ten.) I suspect God included it in The Ten Commandments as more than a protection of the innocent, but to also dissuade accusers who do not trust anyone. In other words, it is there to get would-be accusers to examine their own hearts and minds.

Don’t get me wrong, the Bible seemingly confuses us regarding trust in people. For instance, Psalm 118:8 says:

“It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.”

But then 1 Corinthians 13 talks at length about the ways of love. Verse 5 says love keeps no record of wrongs people inflict on us (paraphrasing). Clearly love cannot exist without some degree of trust. So what is the solution? Should we go through life blindly trusting like Princess Aurora in Sleeping Beauty, or should we plod through life trusting only our self and the hell with everyone else? The answer is a little of both. The Bible says we should be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. If I trusted everyone who came to my door I would be locked into at least three pest exterminator contracts, two cable TV contracts, three home security contracts, a dozen magazine subscriptions (I love my monthly edition of Hummingbird Enthusiast), and I’d own two sets of solar panels as well as two home heating and air conditioning systems . . . AND I’d be going door to door with the Jehovah’s Witnesses. On the other hand, because I have the capacity to trust with discernment, I get a cupboard full of delicious Girl Scout cookies every year. (The day one of those cute little Girl Scouts embezzles my cookie money is the day I embrace my inner paranoid personality disorder.)

Most importantly we have to embrace the truth that despite what happens here on earth, God can be trusted. It’s a hard truth to practice consistently throughout this life of tears. But if we can’t often return to a God of trustworthiness, we can’t hope to live wisely in this life where we will, no matter what defenses of mistrust we erect, encounter occasional back stabbers. I don’t want to miss out on relationships with people who bless my life because I am afraid of encountering a few rotten apples. (And I don’t want to end up on the wrong end of that bottle of vodka, either.)

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Posted on August 4, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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