An Awesome Sex Life for Christian Couples recently posted an insightful article. The article was titled: “5 Reasons Pastors Are More Vulnerable to Sexual Temptation,” by Jeff Fisher. While the “5 Reasons” help the discussion on this emotional topic, I found the comments posted by readers quite revealing. But first, to satisfy your curiosity, here are the “5 Reasons”:

1 A pastorate is a place of power.
2 Ministers are often isolated and unaccountable for their actions.
3 Protection and policies around ministers can be lax.
4 Ministers have few people they can share their deepest struggles with.
5 Ministers frequently feed off the approval of others.

Anyhow, many of the comments on this article were revelations from Christian men that their spouses did not particularly enjoy sexual intimacy, or sex was conditional, or sex was infrequent. (If those men used their real names I’m pretty sure sex will be even more infrequent in their future.) Some of the solutions offered by commenters ranged from helpful, to comical, to a bit . . . unconventional. Nevertheless, it shocked me to learn that so many Christian couples struggle to simply enjoy sex.

The comments made me wonder if Christian couples have a higher rate of sexual dysfunction than the general population. If so, we need to ask: WHY do so many Christian couples struggle to have a fulfilling sex life?

There are many possible reasons for the problem, such as: childhood abuse, self-loathing, physical illness, mental illness, cultural influences, addictions, immaturity . . . the possible causes are numerous. But for a long time I have suspected that the church often treats sex with such a Victorian attitude that it increases the difficulty for some folks raised in the culture of Christianity to experience awesome (forgive me for using that overused word) sexual intimacy with their mate. Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not proposing that Christians live a libertine lifestyle. Well, actually, a little of the libertine attitude is probably healthy within marriage. But whatever the issues preventing a Christian couple from enjoying the gift of fulfilling physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy, they can usually be overcome if each person invests completely in their marriage. It might require professional counseling, lots of listening, reading books by competent therapists, intercessory prayer for each other, and steady growth together . . . but it can get better.

You see, the Evil One wants to screw up the most intensely intimate part of our human relationship with our spouse. Why? By doing so he makes it harder for us to comprehend and enjoy a deep and healthy intimacy in any of our relationships. He knows we will eventually give up and settle for mediocre intimacy or counterfeit intimacy. Don’t give up!


Posted on July 29, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Hi, my name is Brooke and I am a christian who survived a 11 year struggle with primary vaginismus. My husband and I are happy and still married 14 years later. My goal now is to use my voice to help other women that are still struggling in shame and silence with this condition. If you can use me-then please use my voice to help other women in your church. I will email, coach, give a presentation-whatever will help end women living in fear, shame and silence.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: